No Question is a Bad Question
Whoever came up with the term 'learning disability' was not a sensible person. And people who use that term aren't very sensitive. It's a horrible term because it stigmatizes people. When I was a kid people didn't use terms like “learning differences” or “learning disability” or “dyslexia.” But they didn't use sensitive terms back then either. They used terms like “problem child” or “retarded.” So I was described as retarded.

	We all have unique ways of looking at the world. The important thing is to ask questions, to be inquisitive.

When I was held back in second grade I began to realize that I didn't fit in. My brother and his friends were reading all these cool books that I would have liked to read. So I'd buy the books and I'd say to myself, “Someday I'll be able to read them.” I'll never forget what my mother said: All five fingers are different for a reason. The school wants to make you like this. But just because you have a unique way of looking at the world, you may not fit into the way schools are structured. At 11 years old, you're tested and you're expected to be good in every subject. That's ridiculous. Nobody's that way. It's convenient for the school to categorize people. But everybody learns in their own way. Not just differently. They learn in their own way.

“My mother was a great advocate for me. She never challenged the school, in fact, she accepted the school. But she never made me feel stupid.”

I came from a nurturing home and my mother was a great advocate for me. She never challenged the school, in fact, she accepted the school. But she never made me feel stupid. I think the most important thing in our house was to ask questions, to be inquisitive. I think that my parents realized that school had its place but that it wasn't to be taken so seriously. My mother encouraged all of her children to go to college by saying, “Doesn't it look like fun?” We all went to college. We all graduated. But we didn't let it define who we were.

The word we should want to hear our children say the most is “why?” We should encourage our children's sense of wonder. But this overemphasis on academics, this constant measuring of children's achievement discourages children's curiosity and sense of wonder.

	“The most important quality parents should want in their child is curiosity.”

Schools want “learning trophies” and they want children to conform to their ideas of what they should be. They want everyone to be the same; they want everyone to be first in line. They compare children to each other and encourage children to compete against each other. What we really want is for children to be themselves and compare themselves only to themselves. We also want them to ask a lot of “why” questions.

Parents have a very, very important job here – to provide a nurturing environment where no question is a bad question, and where families have interesting conversations together. The most important quality parents should want in their child is curiosity. They should want their child to ask interesting questions, because life's about the questions, not about the answers.

Paul Orfalea
June 13, 2003
KCEd Expert's Convening