Cocktail Chatter: Bacon

Having a bar conversation is hard. You have to, like, know stuff about the news and be able to communicate that stuff in a way that doesn't make you sound like an idiot. Throw alcohol into the mix, and it's a recipe for disaster. Good thing I'm here to help. Here are ten stories from this week to assist your barroom chatter.

1. iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5! iPhone5!

2. Why bother watching one cat video when you can watch a four-minute compilation of the best cat videos of all-time? And then feel free to follow up a viewing with the standard "dog owner vs. cat owner" argument with your bar partner.

3. Union folks are angry at rocker Amanda Palmer for "paying" her back-up musicians in beer and hugs. That said, she's not really hiring these people, just openly inviting anyone who plays strings, sax or brass to play with her. Nice morally-murky controversy here for you to get into a bar argument over.

4. So that terribly-racist "Innocence of Muslims" film that's led to a bunch of deadly riots in Libya and Egypt? Turns out, the actors in it didn't know the producer's, let's say, "creative vision" while shooting the movie, all of their dialogue being overdubbed later on.

5. If you're on one of those terrible dates where you can tell right away it's going nowhere but you're still waiting for the check to come, why not take a little breather by excusing yourself and heading into a bathroom stall, where you can look at these amazing photos of deep space to provide a moment of tranquility?

6. A whole new species of monkey, named the "lesula" has been discovered in the Congo, and look at how cute it is!

7. Bob Dylan, 71 years old, released his 35th studio album last week, called "Tempest." (The Pitchfork review can be found here.) In lieu of actually listening to this new one, trade stories with your bar companion after your respective "Dylan phases."

8. Billy Corgan from The Smashing Pumpkins opened up his own tea shop in Chicago and it pretty much looks exactly like that The Black Lodge in "Twin Peaks."

9. Let this story be a lesson to you: If you're going for a hike out in the wilderness and you stumble onto some fresh berries that look mighty tasty, maybe just leave those to nature. If not, you may end up like this monk who was found wandering around naked in Germany. (Alternatively, check out our own foraging guide!)

10. Head on over to Google, type in "bacon number" followed by any actor's name (for example: "bacon number Frank Langella"), and be astounded. You're welcome, and sorry for ruining your productivity.

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About the Author

Rick Paulas has written plenty of things, some of them serious, many of them not, scattered over the vast expanses of the Internet. He lives in Los Angeles and is a White Sox fan.
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