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Cap'n Lock

By Ophelia Chong
April 7, 2010
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Word of the Day: Cap'n Lock. That guy who just loves to use "Cap Lock" to accentuate his point, but only comes across as an online version of the Hobo/Drunk/Foaming at the mouth/Guy-on-the-corner- shaking-his-loose-pants-at -you-and-drooling-Kind of Guy.

I write a daily "Word of the Day" on my Facebook wall, its words I make up or re-purpose from its original meaning. Today's was "Cap'n Lock", about people who use their Cap Lock too liberally.

I don't mind the occasional "WOW" or "THANK YOU!", but if the conversation has every third word in upper case, then I get a bit hot under the collar. Really, do you need to scream at me to make your point? My eyes are ringing for days after an online conversation with you. Imagine if Shakespeare wrote half his plays in upper case, Laurence Olivier would've be hoarse after Act I Scene 2. Subtlety wins me over, visual pounding on your keyboard just scares me away.

Here's a story about one person who sent me messages and sprinkled them with upper case prose. We had met a long time ago and he was making contact with old friends. I never talked to him on the phone, our only communication was via email. I thought at first, that they just wanted to make a point and was super enthused about the subject. Then I met Cap'n Lock in the flesh. After he opened his mouth, I realized that he lived Upper Case off and online. It wasn't a hearing problem, it was a way to put out an opinion not through intelligent debate but by screaming louder than the person across from you. Needless to say, I have since loaded Mr. Uppercase on the rocket ship called "USS Blocked" out to the far far far galaxy of A1689-zD1 (13 billion light-years away) which means any messages would take more than my lifetime to get to me.

Communication is the same on and offline, keep it civil, keep it intelligent and if it's business or personal, keep it within the boundaries of the relationship. You never want to be banished to the galaxy A1689-zD1, your wi-fi would never reach you there.

Image: Ophelia Chong / Space

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